Personal–Part of this evolution

Part of this evolution is learning when to look back and when to look forward. When to dream and when to reflect. As a snake sheds its skin, I’ve become akin to avoiding the sin of looking back at previous versions of myself. But there are days where I think. 

“Regrets? I have a few. But then again. Too few to mention.”

–Frank Sinatra

My summer roommate talked to me about his opinion that our generation wants stability. I fall into that category in my love for routine. The shift that keeps me on my toes is routine.

I am obsessed with efficiency and learning and long-term self-investment. Routine molds and reforms to fit my ever-changing needs, but it is always there. Without it I am staggered, stunted and stunned.

Social media serves as a buffer to the realities of what it takes to be a real man, and while I feel like I am developing into a real man, I have recently been acting off. I've been distracted, undisciplined and in denial.

Looking back last year, I was concrete in the way I was building a foundation for myself. More than that, I was having a lot of fun doing these intense daily activities. I would jump out of my bed, run, hot shower then cold shower, cook eggs and eat greek yogurt and then head to class. This was the life I lived my fall semester in 2024. What a life.

But life didn’t end there. Since then, I have shed many layers. I became stretched thin. I was over-involved. I was underperforming. I was underachieving. I was all over the place. What a mess.

The thing I find the most interesting about life is how much people think that this is some random story unfolding in front of them, that they shouldn't have a lean to them, a gut feeling that points them in the right direction and silences the peanut gallery of noise and nonsense. These people have dreams of what they want, but it never becomes more than a dream.

I dream too.

My strength comes from consistency, discipline and practice.

My belief comes from studying, writing and dreaming.

My energy comes from health, people, belief and strength.

There is no other way of living. The more I internalize and the less shit tests I defect on, the better I am.

I can’t lose by trusting my gut and dreaming.